bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
