You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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