Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
