this boner is exhausting
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
