Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
