at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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