just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
