Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
