Pants 0. Shit 1.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
