Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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