Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
