So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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