Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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