Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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