your thong is hanging out like whoa
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My balls are so social today.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
