does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
