we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
