When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
