Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
