I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
