I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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