tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
