I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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