I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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