I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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