Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
