Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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