Ambien. No doubt about it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
