I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
