I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
