I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
