tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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