yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
