It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
