Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
