I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
