paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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