that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
