note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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