His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize