I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
