im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
