The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
