also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
