Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
