Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
