New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
