right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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