OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
