break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fuck appropriateness.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What a dumb baby whore.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
