I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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